When random strangers say stupid things!

It's the day before my youngest birthday party. Not only have I been prepping for that, but I decided to take the boys shoe shopping for school, which was a bad idea because I HATE shoe shopping with my kids. Its not like they act up or anything, but it's just a tedious task with a lot of micromanagement which I don't like, so I'm not in the best of moods when I hit the grocery store.

I get through my list in relatively short order and am standing at the checkout enjoying the few free minutes of letting my mind check out. A lady, a yoga instructor pops into my line of vision and offers me a business card and a spiel about her classes she is offering. I say "no thanks" partly because I'm not interested and partly because I don't want to be bothered. She continues on with her spiel. Again I say "no thanks" and she replies "Are you sure? You'll lose weight and THEN (my emphasis) be healthier and look better"

Now I didn't see any mirrors around, but I'm thinking I looked a little something like this.

In fact in retrospect, maybe more like this...

But whatever...I'm sure I gave the Did-you-seriously-just-say-that? look.

Resisting the urge to freak, I said in that voice you have when you're trying to restrain yourself, so you sound very calm and creepy at the same time.

"Not that it's any of your business, but my health is great and, I already look great."

She started to trip over herself to try and amend what she said, but I had had enough and using a phrase from my vast vocabulary I've received working with kids, I said,

"I don't want to talk to you anymore." I turned away so my body language was very clear that this was the case and what became of her I don't know.

A few seconds later, the cashier and an elderly woman told me that I looked lovely and she had no right to make those comments to me.

It got me thinking though, how many times, do we hear "you'd be so beautiful/healthy/smart/ambitious if you lost more weight..." And how many times do we hear it unsolicited from people who have no business saying such things? Are these much different than "catcalls" and street harassment? For crying out loud, I'm doing a grocery shopping, I'm not asking random strangers for opinions on my health or appearance.

People, if for some reason you feel tempted to comment on another person's appearance, unless its genuinely complimentary (ie I really dig the colour of your hair, that's a great dress, I LOVE those shoes!) consider where it is coming from, because I can guarantee you that it's not out of a loving place. It's from a place of judgment, that you are somehow superior to this person to make negative comments about them at first glance. It's from a place where your self esteem makes you feel uncomfortable because chances are, that person already looks great, but that confidence is challenging your norms and instead of understanding why it is challenging you, you lash out. And let me be clear, that insecurity, that judgment, that negativity is going to adversely affect your health and well being far more than my weight.

So there!